Tag Archives: Trust

Random Musings: Access Granted

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“When I open the door to the heart and soul of me and let you inside, I can only hope that you will understand the significance of the access given. The trust required and courage it takes. I can only hope that with my valuables you will take care. This I cannot demand but I can require for continued access to be granted.I am not responsible for, nor can I control, the actions of others but I am responsible for the reactions of Me.” ~ Twin Spirit

www.MyBeautifulUglyWorld.wordpress.com

Random Musings: I Choose Relief…

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Some days I simply choose relief…
this may look many different ways.
sometimes it’s a smile,
others it’s a gentle letting go,
at times it’s an outburst or a melting away,
some days it’s an air of “whatever” with a side of “I simply don’t care”
Whatever it is..I embrace it and honor my right to choose it in that moment.
There is no right or wrong in the matter. Interpret it as you will…
My only concern is that it is authentic and sits well with my soul
and I’m truly okay with that. ~ Twin Spirit

www.iAmTwinSpirit.com 

Random Musings: (i Believe in You)

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“If you see it, touch it. If you touch it, feel it. If you feel it, appreciate it. And that you appreciate…..love it, give of yourself to it , and more will be added unto you. A life is not measured by the games that are won or the battles fought, it is simply measured by the moments lived fully, hearts touched deeply, and lives impacted by the presence of the essence of you. None of us know all of the answers to the pressing questions asked and all of us are moving towards different goals and experiences. All we can do is our best.

If I am able to leave only 1 impression with my existence on this earth I hope that I Inspire YOU to LIVE FULLY & LOVE WITH ABANDON….Do Not Live Your Life on MUTE!! Do not limit your possibilities! Do not be stifled by your or others Fears and Worries! Blast Your LIGHT For All the world to see. Bask in the Amazing Awesomeness of the Divine Essence that is YOU! We have enough naysayers and people to tell us why we can’t Do or Be! I am neither…my soul came here to Remind You that you are full of endless possibilities waiting to be expressed. You Can Do It, Be It, Create It!! I truly do Believe in You but none of this matters if YOU Do Not Believe in You Too! Whatever your dreams…GO FOR IT!!”~ With Love from my Heart to Yours, Twin Spirit #iBelieveInYOU

www.iAmTwinSpirit.com 

Random Musings: Bruised But Not Broken

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I understand transition. I understand change. I understand non-permanence. I grasp the concept of ebb & flow. I know that all connections are in a constant state of flux.

Even with all of this understanding I still have a hard time when someone that I care about fades away or disappears. It’s not the actual fading that gets me it is the silence associated with the fading or disappearing act that hurts me most. It results in feelings of being unappreciated, used, and disposable. If I have known the person beyond a few months to a few years it can be even more traumatic. When someone I like, trust, love, or care for & who I believe cares for me, disengages & disappears from contact without any explanation at all it feels like a very deep deception.

One of the most insidious aspects of silent fading & disappearing is that it doesn’t just cause you to question the validity of the relationship or connection you had, it causes you to question yourself.

Why don’t people communicate openly more? If your feelings, path, plans, desires, motivations, attraction, thoughts, or point of focus have changed and you wish to move in a different direction I think it is the kind & mature thing to do to communicate said changes. Even if that conversation will be a little uncomfortable. Mind you, you don’t have to go into full detail but a simple “I need some time to myself” or “I am going to focus on xyz right now” etc. would suffice.

Silent fading & Disappearing is the ultimate use of the silent treatment, a tactic that has often been viewed by mental health professionals as a form of emotional cruelty. It essentially renders you powerless and leaves you with no opportunity to ask questions or be provided with information that would help you emotionally process the experience. It silences you and prevents you from expressing your emotions and being heard, which is important for maintaining your self-esteem.

Regardless of the Faders or Disappearers intent, this behavior is a passive-aggressive interpersonal tactic that can leave psychological bruises and scars.

I have to soothe myself and remember that when someone employs these tactics, it says nothing about me or my worthiness but speaks volumes about the person doing it. It shows he/she doesn’t have the courage to deal with the discomfort of their emotions or yours, and they either don’t understand the impact of their behavior or worse don’t care. In any case they have sent you an extremely loud message that says: I don’t have what it takes to have a mature healthy relationship with you. I then choose to be a mature person, retain my dignity, and let him/her go peacefully.

But I would be a liar if I said it doesn’t sting me a little whenever it happens.

Ah well…thus is life. I shall continue to be Authentically & Unapologetically Me. I shall keep Living and Loving freely knowing that not everyone will value what I bring to table but I will never turn down my capacity to connect and feel deeply out of fear.

I Shall Continue to Let My LIGHT Shine
~ Twin Spirit #BruisedButNotBroken

Random Musings: Moment of Gratitude

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All in all I have a pretty great life. My circle is small but the care, love, support, & friendship runs deep. I get to spend lots of my time doing things I genuinely enjoy with people I genuinely enjoy. My family is good and most days my heart is full. Are there challenges? Of course, but even those create the opportunity for me to dig deeper, to push forward, and discover my strength. It’s easy to get so caught up in the illusion of “the struggle” that we forget just how good our lives truly are. While they may not be filled with every little thing we want if we take an honest inventory I bet we will find that they are filled with every thing that we truly need. This moment of #Gratitude brought to you by the letter T (thankful). ~ always Twin Spirit www.iAmTwinSpirit.com

Random Musings: Mediocrity is a Prison

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“Mediocrity is a prison that entraps people and steals dreams. It’s the one prison where breaking out is the right thing to do. Wanting a thing is not enough, you must know that it is possible and believe that you can in fact achieve it. We settle for many things in life not because its what we truly desire but because we are afraid to want more, believe it’s the best we will ever have, and/or we simply won’t do the work required to have a better experience.” ~ Twin Spirit #BeInspired To LIVE Your Best Life

Random Musings: Radical Honesty

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Are You COURAGEOUS Enough To Be Honest?

To be honest with yourself and others can be a difficult thing, because, in order to be honest, you must be courageous enough to take a look deep into your psyche and confront your weaknesses, fears, & insecurities—and expose them openly to the world—which is what we are most afraid of.

The majority of us have contrived a false image of ourselves. This image, however, is just a veil to cover our shadow self, not only from the eyes of others, but from our own as well. Thus the way we have been living so far is just an escape from self-understanding and genuine communication.

Unless we face, understand, and accept ourselves—unless we get in tune with the core of our feelings, emotions, thoughts, and intentions—how can we find harmony within ourselves and the world?

To look for truth, and to be honest, is terrifying. Forget big universal truths; I’m talking about little truths, personal truths. We are afraid to look inward, and to be honest with ourselves. And even if we are courageous enough to do that, then we are so concerned with the feelings of others, that we are afraid to share our truths with them. We punish ourselves with all sorts of guilt for even imagining causing someone emotional pain, when we really have no idea how they will feel if we were actually honest. We jump through crazy ridiculous hoops, all because we want to avoid the turmoil of potential emotional pain (theirs and ours). Being honest and being kind are not mutually exclusive. You can and should deliver your truth without blame or judgment, but definitely with kindness.

Sometimes we find ourselves in relationship dynamics with people who we perceive as emotionally fragile or explosive (it’s really the same thing). So we subjugate ourselves, and learn to maneuver around them. We do everything we can just to avoid those emotional mines. We never know when we’ll step on some trigger, so we hide the parts of ourselves we assume they will not accept or understand. We tread lightly. We speak less honestly. We express ourselves less openly. But unwittingly and inevitably repeating this process over and over, day in and day out, can cause resentments to grow. The less we share…the less of a connection is made. 

Instead, I propose that we try honesty. (It’s really scary, I KNOW, but it’s so very worth it). Let’s respect one another. Let’s trust each other to handle the truth. Let’s be really clear within ourselves, and with all the other people in our lives. Let’s unchain ourselves from guilt and obligation. Let’s give ourselves permission to be open, honest, & free. Let’s forget about seeking approval, and instead live in our own integrity. It is near to impossible to get to the places you desire and to receive the things you want in life when you are not open and honest about what you truly need.

In order to really give love, in a way that is unconditional you have to love yourself first. To love yourself simply means to honor your own needs.

Really living your truth is about getting still enough, and being courageous enough, to admit to yourself what you want, and what you don’t want. It’s tuning in to the pit-of-your-stomach feelings, and figuring stuff out from there. It is about standing in your integrity, and following your internal guidance, even when it goes against social norms, the mores of your specific community, or the good intentioned opinions of those we care for.

It takes courage, real courage, to live/speak your truth. Courage isn’t about jumping out of airplanes or diving with sharks. It’s not about physical activities that get the adrenaline pumping. Real courage happens in very quiet and subtle moments. In those intimate, vulnerable exchanges when you’re afraid to speak the truth. When you’re afraid to honor your own feelings, when you’re afraid that if you say or do what your heart is asking of you, that you will be dismissed, shamed, ridiculed, or rejected. Or that the truth of your feelings will hurt the feelings of another.

The most amazing thing about radical honesty is that YES it’s not always easy and Yes your life will change but you aren’t going to be alone and rejected in the ways you may worry about. You will instead filter out the people who love and accept the real you, from those that only conditionally accept you (if you fit in to the image of who they want you to be). If you are brave enough to be the real you, you will find lots of love, support, friendship, opportunity, and companionship from other souls who are just like you.

I hope you find the courage to try it. Being the real you (whatever that means), out in the open, it is truly gifts you with a rewarding and delicious life experience!

From my heart to yours,
Love Always…
~ Twin Spirit ღ