Tag Archives: Transparency

Random Musings: I Don’t Believe in Loving Small!

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A MOMENT OF TRANSPARENCY: “I simply do not believe in Loving small. I have no idea how to do that. I do not know how to shrink the way that I feel or pretend that I care less than I do, honestly I see no benefit in withholding care or emotion. I see no use in starving those you care for of your presence and adoration or holding back affection.

I see no strength gained, safety secured, or virtue claimed in silencing I Love You’s, I Miss You’s, I Believe in You’s, & I Care’s. Why stingily dole out deep long hugs and passionate kisses. Or save for a later day our tender touches or passionate caresses.

Why are we so generous with complaints, criticisms, cold shoulders, attitudes, & anger but flinch at the mere thought of those we care deeply for knowing that we actually give a damn and care?

I refuse to participate in the lunacy of it all.

If I care about you then I am going to say it and show it in all the things that I do. I am going to be honest in my interactions with you and share openly how I think and feel. I am going to be as transparent as I can. If you move me, you’ll know it. If I crave your energy I will not hold back my desire to bask in it often. If you inspire me, I’ll tell you. If I am disappointed, I will share that too. If you stir my passions then so be it.

Genuine Care to me = openness, honesty, compassion, support, communication, time, laughter, fun, depth, freedom, trust, listening, respect, acceptance, & creative energy flow.

This Life is but a mere blink of an eye…I plan on living mine fully and loving with all that I have in me until I am no more. I am not afraid to LOVE & Be Loved. No regrets.” ~ always Twin Spirit

www.iAmTwinSpirit.com  | www.ArtHouzeAlive.com 

Random Musings: Confirmation Bias

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“You want to be right about how you see the world, so you seek out information which confirms your beliefs and avoid contradictory evidence and opinions. If one were to attempt to identify a single problematic aspect of human reasoning that deserves attention above all others, confirmation bias would have to be among the candidates for consideration.Whenever our opinions or beliefs are so intertwined with our self-image we can’t pull them away without damaging our core concepts of self. So we avoid or fight against situations, people, or experiences which may cause harm to those beliefs.”

Random Musings: I Choose Relief…

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Some days I simply choose relief…
this may look many different ways.
sometimes it’s a smile,
others it’s a gentle letting go,
at times it’s an outburst or a melting away,
some days it’s an air of “whatever” with a side of “I simply don’t care”
Whatever it is..I embrace it and honor my right to choose it in that moment.
There is no right or wrong in the matter. Interpret it as you will…
My only concern is that it is authentic and sits well with my soul
and I’m truly okay with that. ~ Twin Spirit

www.iAmTwinSpirit.com 

Random Musings: Bruised But Not Broken

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I understand transition. I understand change. I understand non-permanence. I grasp the concept of ebb & flow. I know that all connections are in a constant state of flux.

Even with all of this understanding I still have a hard time when someone that I care about fades away or disappears. It’s not the actual fading that gets me it is the silence associated with the fading or disappearing act that hurts me most. It results in feelings of being unappreciated, used, and disposable. If I have known the person beyond a few months to a few years it can be even more traumatic. When someone I like, trust, love, or care for & who I believe cares for me, disengages & disappears from contact without any explanation at all it feels like a very deep deception.

One of the most insidious aspects of silent fading & disappearing is that it doesn’t just cause you to question the validity of the relationship or connection you had, it causes you to question yourself.

Why don’t people communicate openly more? If your feelings, path, plans, desires, motivations, attraction, thoughts, or point of focus have changed and you wish to move in a different direction I think it is the kind & mature thing to do to communicate said changes. Even if that conversation will be a little uncomfortable. Mind you, you don’t have to go into full detail but a simple “I need some time to myself” or “I am going to focus on xyz right now” etc. would suffice.

Silent fading & Disappearing is the ultimate use of the silent treatment, a tactic that has often been viewed by mental health professionals as a form of emotional cruelty. It essentially renders you powerless and leaves you with no opportunity to ask questions or be provided with information that would help you emotionally process the experience. It silences you and prevents you from expressing your emotions and being heard, which is important for maintaining your self-esteem.

Regardless of the Faders or Disappearers intent, this behavior is a passive-aggressive interpersonal tactic that can leave psychological bruises and scars.

I have to soothe myself and remember that when someone employs these tactics, it says nothing about me or my worthiness but speaks volumes about the person doing it. It shows he/she doesn’t have the courage to deal with the discomfort of their emotions or yours, and they either don’t understand the impact of their behavior or worse don’t care. In any case they have sent you an extremely loud message that says: I don’t have what it takes to have a mature healthy relationship with you. I then choose to be a mature person, retain my dignity, and let him/her go peacefully.

But I would be a liar if I said it doesn’t sting me a little whenever it happens.

Ah well…thus is life. I shall continue to be Authentically & Unapologetically Me. I shall keep Living and Loving freely knowing that not everyone will value what I bring to table but I will never turn down my capacity to connect and feel deeply out of fear.

I Shall Continue to Let My LIGHT Shine
~ Twin Spirit #BruisedButNotBroken

Random Musings: LOVE-A New Paradigm

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“I am not afraid of relationships or commitment. Far from it. I am made for partnership and shine within a healthy loving connection. I honestly desire and prefer deep, intimate, long-term connections over short lived surface-level encounters. I simply choose not to have to exchange ownership of my heart, mind, body, freedom, dreams, & soul for outdated concepts of relating or what a relationship should look like.

We are still burdened with antiquated ideas about what men and women are supposed to look for and expect in a partner/spouse or relationship. These traditional and deeply embedded ideas are on a collision course with the facts on the ground and many of them are diminishing to our spirit. It’s time to open up and explore new relationship paradigms.

The new paradigm relationship is heart to heart and even higher level connections. The joy of this type of relating must be experienced to be fully understood.

In the new paradigm of YOU being, the ONE rather than some being outside of yourself, the power and truth of who you are is activated and a new understanding of your own freedom and power is now alive in every cell of your body to the core matrix of your soul – to be who you are. You no longer project the responsibility for your happiness, well-being, and expectation out onto your partner for you know that all of these states are an inside job.

This frees up the nature of relationships to expand and transform…to become more of a place that inspires and encourages our growth, movement, a place where all things are possible, a place where we support one another in becoming the “BEST VERISONS” of ourselves (whatever that might look like) rather than a prison of fear, where we cling to old beliefs of ownership, jealousy, co-dependency, punishment, emotional manipulation, & control and where we hold one another back out of fear that we might lose what we have. Where we see our partners as beings we own and who owe us total subjugation to prove they love us. Where we make someone else the sole source of our happiness and contentment. A realm filled with limiting experiences rather than being a place that gives those we love wings and our love encourages them to Soar & Fly and Be all that they dream and desire to BE!!

Call me a naive dreamer or an obstinate nonconformist if you like but my spirit knows that the idea we have of LOVE expands much deeper than we can even imagine and I choose to allow myself the opportunity to experience ALL that Life, Love, Connection, & the Human Experience has to offer…and I am not willing to sacrifice that potential by Living Small, Dimming my Light, Not using my Divine Gifts, Not Pursuing My Dreams, Not Speaking My Truth, Hiding my Desires, & Being Afraid to GO FOR IT when Connection Presents Itself, Pretending my needs don’t matter, or settling for a mediocre Relationship with someone who is afraid to FLY simply to maintain the status Quo.

Call me Selfish, call me Crazy, Call me anything you like but this is “My Life” and I choose to Live it Deeply, Fully, Creatively, Expansively, & Beautifully. I will not settle for relationships that do not move me, grow me, and stir my soul. Loving You should NEVER require sacrificing the Heart &Soul of ME. It should be a mutually value adding experience to every Spirit involved.

Yes…I Love you enough to Set you Free to Find the Love That Your Spirit Needs and I Love Myself enough to know that it’s okay if I simply decide to just Choose Me ~ Written & Shared From a place of Transparency, Honesty, & LOVE” ~ Twin Spirit

Random Musings: I don’t have time….

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Every single person on earth has the exact same amount of time every single day. We ALL get 24 hours to do whatever we need and want to do each day. What we make of that time is up to US….

When we feel like we don’t HAVE time for something, it’s almost always because we have not chosen to MAKE the time to do it because that thing is simply not a priority to us.

You can find the time. It exists. You choose not to devote the time, and there’s a big difference.

Every day, we make hundreds of decisions as to what we will and will not make time for.

We will all make different decisions at different times and in different seasons of life. The difference is not bad — it’s just priorities. It’s ALL About Priorities!

Fess Up If Your Priorities Change

Of course, our lives change and circumstances change. But when that happens to you, take the time to give the ramifications of those changes real thought, helping to see how priorities might have to shift correspondingly.

And most importantly, be honest with yourself. Admit that what once was critically important to you might not be as important now. Don’t blame it on not having enough time. That’s just code for “I don’t care as much as I used to, but haven’t admitted it to myself yet.”

So as we countdown to the wrap up of this crazy, crazy year called: “2016”, spend a few hours with yourself thinking about your priorities this year, and how they could or should change in 2017. It will give you a lot more clarity (and possibly a lot less guilt) down the road.

Knowing who you are and what you want can help set you in the right direction, and the earlier you start thinking about your life goals and what’s truly important to you, the easier it is to make the appropriate decisions and plans to reach it. ~ Twin Spirit

Random Musings: Love Boldly!!

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“LOVE Me Boldly!
No timid intentions.
Let your actions speak loudly the desires of your heart.
Uncertainty breeds insecurity, so
if you want me, Let me know.

I desire a partner who compels my strength and
who is not afraid to love me fully & freely.
not afraid to laugh with me.
not afraid to cry with me.
not afraid to move me.
not afraid to explore with me.
not afraid to grow with me.
not afraid to be open with me.
not afraid to inspire me.
not afraid to want me.
not afraid to need me.
not afraid to take risk with me or live out your fantasies with me.
not afraid to be your best and worst self with me.
not afraid to go deep with me in every way imaginable.

One who will stay when life gets messy but not because we are in a comfortable rut, or because we are to afraid to admit we desire more, or because it’s been so many years, or because we are content with the status quo as it doesn’t require us to face ourselves and own our shit, or because we’ve gotten so comfortable with our dysfunction that it feels like it’s okay, our because it would require us to stand on our own two feet and be independent rather than codependent, or because we are afraid to be honest and admit we have settled for less than our soul truly desires, or simply because it’s just easier to stay…

But one who STAYS because they cannot imagine another soul that they would rather get messy with and trust me it will get messy , travel the world with, slay dragons with, create with, build with, live their dreams with, fail & succeed with, serve the world with, dance in the rain with, expand their mind with, become the best version of themselves with, break down walls with, heal hearts with, tap into the essence of their spirit with, unleash their passions with, share quiet moments with, do everything and nothing with until they are no more…..

I crave a partner who will challenge me to ask questions, go deeper, never settle, & push harder.

Who will hold me accountable for my own happiness and join me in creating the life of our Dreams….TOGETHER!

and equally important One who will allow me to LOVE him boldly too.” – Twin Spirit