“they think they know me, but they really don’t.
they only see what they choose to see.
close your eyes and listen closely…
my heart dances to the rhythm of the spirit of me.” ~ Twin Spirit
“You ask Me what I Want, Need, & Desire. So let me share it from the heart and make it as plain as I can: I desire CONNECTION! Intimate, spiritual, physical, mental, sexual, beautiful Connection. Uninhibited, unrestricted, open, real, deep, pure connection. Less hiding & pretending, less punishment & blaming, no judgement or games. Just merging, exploring, sharing, being, giving, supporting, receiving energy freely. No dogmas, no agendas, no labels & expectations, just feeling & flowing. Laughter & kisses, creation & abundance, peace & pleasure, building & growing…LOVE ❤” ~ Twin Spirit
A MOMENT OF TRANSPARENCY: “I simply do not believe in Loving small. I have no idea how to do that. I do not know how to shrink the way that I feel or pretend that I care less than I do, honestly I see no benefit in withholding care or emotion. I see no use in starving those you care for of your presence and adoration or holding back affection.
I see no strength gained, safety secured, or virtue claimed in silencing I Love You’s, I Miss You’s, I Believe in You’s, & I Care’s. Why stingily dole out deep long hugs and passionate kisses. Or save for a later day our tender touches or passionate caresses.
Why are we so generous with complaints, criticisms, cold shoulders, attitudes, & anger but flinch at the mere thought of those we care deeply for knowing that we actually give a damn and care?
I refuse to participate in the lunacy of it all.
If I care about you then I am going to say it and show it in all the things that I do. I am going to be honest in my interactions with you and share openly how I think and feel. I am going to be as transparent as I can. If you move me, you’ll know it. If I crave your energy I will not hold back my desire to bask in it often. If you inspire me, I’ll tell you. If I am disappointed, I will share that too. If you stir my passions then so be it.
Genuine Care to me = openness, honesty, compassion, support, communication, time, laughter, fun, depth, freedom, trust, listening, respect, acceptance, & creative energy flow.
This Life is but a mere blink of an eye…I plan on living mine fully and loving with all that I have in me until I am no more. I am not afraid to LOVE & Be Loved. No regrets.” ~ always Twin Spirit ❤
“You want to be right about how you see the world, so you seek out information which confirms your beliefs and avoid contradictory evidence and opinions. If one were to attempt to identify a single problematic aspect of human reasoning that deserves attention above all others, confirmation bias would have to be among the candidates for consideration.Whenever our opinions or beliefs are so intertwined with our self-image we can’t pull them away without damaging our core concepts of self. So we avoid or fight against situations, people, or experiences which may cause harm to those beliefs.”
Some days I simply choose relief…
this may look many different ways.
sometimes it’s a smile,
others it’s a gentle letting go,
at times it’s an outburst or a melting away,
some days it’s an air of “whatever” with a side of “I simply don’t care”
Whatever it is..I embrace it and honor my right to choose it in that moment.
There is no right or wrong in the matter. Interpret it as you will…
My only concern is that it is authentic and sits well with my soul
and I’m truly okay with that. ~ Twin Spirit
I understand transition. I understand change. I understand non-permanence. I grasp the concept of ebb & flow. I know that all connections are in a constant state of flux.
Even with all of this understanding I still have a hard time when someone that I care about fades away or disappears. It’s not the actual fading that gets me it is the silence associated with the fading or disappearing act that hurts me most. It results in feelings of being unappreciated, used, and disposable. If I have known the person beyond a few months to a few years it can be even more traumatic. When someone I like, trust, love, or care for & who I believe cares for me, disengages & disappears from contact without any explanation at all it feels like a very deep deception.
One of the most insidious aspects of silent fading & disappearing is that it doesn’t just cause you to question the validity of the relationship or connection you had, it causes you to question yourself.
Why don’t people communicate openly more? If your feelings, path, plans, desires, motivations, attraction, thoughts, or point of focus have changed and you wish to move in a different direction I think it is the kind & mature thing to do to communicate said changes. Even if that conversation will be a little uncomfortable. Mind you, you don’t have to go into full detail but a simple “I need some time to myself” or “I am going to focus on xyz right now” etc. would suffice.
Silent fading & Disappearing is the ultimate use of the silent treatment, a tactic that has often been viewed by mental health professionals as a form of emotional cruelty. It essentially renders you powerless and leaves you with no opportunity to ask questions or be provided with information that would help you emotionally process the experience. It silences you and prevents you from expressing your emotions and being heard, which is important for maintaining your self-esteem.
Regardless of the Faders or Disappearers intent, this behavior is a passive-aggressive interpersonal tactic that can leave psychological bruises and scars.
I have to soothe myself and remember that when someone employs these tactics, it says nothing about me or my worthiness but speaks volumes about the person doing it. It shows he/she doesn’t have the courage to deal with the discomfort of their emotions or yours, and they either don’t understand the impact of their behavior or worse don’t care. In any case they have sent you an extremely loud message that says: I don’t have what it takes to have a mature healthy relationship with you. I then choose to be a mature person, retain my dignity, and let him/her go peacefully.
But I would be a liar if I said it doesn’t sting me a little whenever it happens.
Ah well…thus is life. I shall continue to be Authentically & Unapologetically Me. I shall keep Living and Loving freely knowing that not everyone will value what I bring to table but I will never turn down my capacity to connect and feel deeply out of fear.