“they think they know me, but they really don’t.
they only see what they choose to see.
close your eyes and listen closely…
my heart dances to the rhythm of the spirit of me.” ~ Twin Spirit
Moment of Transparency: There is truly only 1 man I have ever been in Love with. I have liked fondly, cared for, craved, and had love for others but only one has crawled into the deep recesses of my heart, soul, & mind and stayed there.
I still love him to this day and if I am honest am still “in-love” with him too. I will always love him, at his best and at his worst. I think it’s because I see him clearly for who and what he is….not just an ideal or a representation of what I wish him to be. He is amazing and awful at the same damn time…lol.
He has made me smile, laugh, & blush and he has also made me cry. He has made me feel beautiful and like I don’t matter. He is all that I wish a man to be and many of the things I can’t stand. He is free like the wind and often an island unto himself. He is giving and selfish, kind and cruel, open and secretive, honest and a liar.
He is a paradox but if I am honest I wouldn’t want him to be any other way.
It’s easy to believe that if only “they” would be just what you want them to be that life would be perfect and so simple but the truth is that loving him just the way he is has forced me to explore and understand Me. Pushed me outside of my comfort zone and made me accept that at the end of the day I, and I alone, hold the key to my happiness. (not another being, not a relationship status, & not who loves me in return.)
He is my Soulmate and I love him with all that is in me but he is not my man. I do not belong to him and he does not belong to me. Our connection is not always rainbows and butterflies but it is honest and it is real…and it is Beautiful ❤ ~ Twin Spirit
A MOMENT OF TRANSPARENCY: “I simply do not believe in Loving small. I have no idea how to do that. I do not know how to shrink the way that I feel or pretend that I care less than I do, honestly I see no benefit in withholding care or emotion. I see no use in starving those you care for of your presence and adoration or holding back affection.
I see no strength gained, safety secured, or virtue claimed in silencing I Love You’s, I Miss You’s, I Believe in You’s, & I Care’s. Why stingily dole out deep long hugs and passionate kisses. Or save for a later day our tender touches or passionate caresses.
Why are we so generous with complaints, criticisms, cold shoulders, attitudes, & anger but flinch at the mere thought of those we care deeply for knowing that we actually give a damn and care?
I refuse to participate in the lunacy of it all.
If I care about you then I am going to say it and show it in all the things that I do. I am going to be honest in my interactions with you and share openly how I think and feel. I am going to be as transparent as I can. If you move me, you’ll know it. If I crave your energy I will not hold back my desire to bask in it often. If you inspire me, I’ll tell you. If I am disappointed, I will share that too. If you stir my passions then so be it.
Genuine Care to me = openness, honesty, compassion, support, communication, time, laughter, fun, depth, freedom, trust, listening, respect, acceptance, & creative energy flow.
This Life is but a mere blink of an eye…I plan on living mine fully and loving with all that I have in me until I am no more. I am not afraid to LOVE & Be Loved. No regrets.” ~ always Twin Spirit ❤
Some days I simply choose relief…
this may look many different ways.
sometimes it’s a smile,
others it’s a gentle letting go,
at times it’s an outburst or a melting away,
some days it’s an air of “whatever” with a side of “I simply don’t care”
Whatever it is..I embrace it and honor my right to choose it in that moment.
There is no right or wrong in the matter. Interpret it as you will…
My only concern is that it is authentic and sits well with my soul
and I’m truly okay with that. ~ Twin Spirit