Are You COURAGEOUS Enough To Be Honest?
To be honest with yourself and others can be a difficult thing, because, in order to be honest, you must be courageous enough to take a look deep into your psyche and confront your weaknesses, fears, & insecurities—and expose them openly to the world—which is what we are most afraid of.
The majority of us have contrived a false image of ourselves. This image, however, is just a veil to cover our shadow self, not only from the eyes of others, but from our own as well. Thus the way we have been living so far is just an escape from self-understanding and genuine communication.
Unless we face, understand, and accept ourselves—unless we get in tune with the core of our feelings, emotions, thoughts, and intentions—how can we find harmony within ourselves and the world?
To look for truth, and to be honest, is terrifying. Forget big universal truths; I’m talking about little truths, personal truths. We are afraid to look inward, and to be honest with ourselves. And even if we are courageous enough to do that, then we are so concerned with the feelings of others, that we are afraid to share our truths with them. We punish ourselves with all sorts of guilt for even imagining causing someone emotional pain, when we really have no idea how they will feel if we were actually honest. We jump through crazy ridiculous hoops, all because we want to avoid the turmoil of potential emotional pain (theirs and ours). Being honest and being kind are not mutually exclusive. You can and should deliver your truth without blame or judgment, but definitely with kindness.
Sometimes we find ourselves in relationship dynamics with people who we perceive as emotionally fragile or explosive (it’s really the same thing). So we subjugate ourselves, and learn to maneuver around them. We do everything we can just to avoid those emotional mines. We never know when we’ll step on some trigger, so we hide the parts of ourselves we assume they will not accept or understand. We tread lightly. We speak less honestly. We express ourselves less openly. But unwittingly and inevitably repeating this process over and over, day in and day out, can cause resentments to grow. The less we share…the less of a connection is made.
Instead, I propose that we try honesty. (It’s really scary, I KNOW, but it’s so very worth it). Let’s respect one another. Let’s trust each other to handle the truth. Let’s be really clear within ourselves, and with all the other people in our lives. Let’s unchain ourselves from guilt and obligation. Let’s give ourselves permission to be open, honest, & free. Let’s forget about seeking approval, and instead live in our own integrity. It is near to impossible to get to the places you desire and to receive the things you want in life when you are not open and honest about what you truly need.
In order to really give love, in a way that is unconditional you have to love yourself first. To love yourself simply means to honor your own needs.
Really living your truth is about getting still enough, and being courageous enough, to admit to yourself what you want, and what you don’t want. It’s tuning in to the pit-of-your-stomach feelings, and figuring stuff out from there. It is about standing in your integrity, and following your internal guidance, even when it goes against social norms, the mores of your specific community, or the good intentioned opinions of those we care for.
It takes courage, real courage, to live/speak your truth. Courage isn’t about jumping out of airplanes or diving with sharks. It’s not about physical activities that get the adrenaline pumping. Real courage happens in very quiet and subtle moments. In those intimate, vulnerable exchanges when you’re afraid to speak the truth. When you’re afraid to honor your own feelings, when you’re afraid that if you say or do what your heart is asking of you, that you will be dismissed, shamed, ridiculed, or rejected. Or that the truth of your feelings will hurt the feelings of another.
The most amazing thing about radical honesty is that YES it’s not always easy and Yes your life will change but you aren’t going to be alone and rejected in the ways you may worry about. You will instead filter out the people who love and accept the real you, from those that only conditionally accept you (if you fit in to the image of who they want you to be). If you are brave enough to be the real you, you will find lots of love, support, friendship, opportunity, and companionship from other souls who are just like you.
I hope you find the courage to try it. Being the real you (whatever that means), out in the open, it is truly gifts you with a rewarding and delicious life experience!
From my heart to yours,
~ Twin Spirit ღ