Tag Archives: forgiveness

Random Musing: Freedom of Forgiveness

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“Recently I had the opportunity of a lifetime presented to me. The chance to let someone who hurt me very deeply “have it” in a way that I had been unable to give it to them in the past because I was to wounded. My chance had arrived to hurt them as badly as I had been hurt. I had all of the awful things I wanted to say & do all planned out and I was ready to pounce like a hungry lion in the jungle who hadn’t eaten for weeks.
 
Then a funny thing happened…when the moment arrived things did not play out as I planned. We argued a bit, we disagreed, we debated, and then we just talked. We talked more openly and honestly than we ever have before.
 
The amazing thing that happened during this interaction is that all of my pain and resentment began to melt away and I began to see something that I never had before…that in ways I had shut them out too.
 
Not being fully authentic & completely me and attempting to only present the parts of me that I thought they would accept and love was just as dishonest and hurtful to them as the things they did to me. We were both responsible for the current state of our relationship.
 
There were no victims, only 2 people both afraid that they were not “good enough” just as they are. Two people functioning with played out internal scripts & immature ways of connecting that no longer served them. Two people hiding behind forced smiles & cool unconcern. Never wanting to be the one who cared too much but deeply thirsty for real love and genuine appreciation. Dying to be accepted just as we are but too scared to trust that the other would accept us and also not extending that same acceptance to the other.
 
It is amazing the power that genuine understanding and forgiveness have to instantly transform. Letting go of the pain freed me & them. Giving us the opportunity to benefit from the greatest gift that it brings…PEACE!” ~ Twin Spirit
 
Feel free to read more of my Random Musings on my blog: http://www.Mybeautifuluglyworld.wordpress.com

Random Musings: To All of my Lovers Past…Thank You!!

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thank youTo all of My Lovers Past: Thank you for teaching me that the love I seek is one that is extraordinary. Thank you for showing me everything that I don’t want, so that when I finally come face-to-face with what I do want—I’ll have the courage to go after it. Thank you for showing me that I don’t want someone to be only half in love with me, or to merely appreciate me—but to leave them breathless. Thank you for leaving me with my loneliness so I could find my way back to myself. Thank you for placing me in uncomfortable situations which forced me to embrace, appreciate, explore, trust, understand, honor, value & Love Myself First ~ with LOVE Twin Spirit

Random Musings: I Awaken by TwinSpirit

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  1. “I thought I was angry at you
    for letting me down and leading me on.

    I thought I had every right to be feeling
    as I do.

    I blamed you for all of the hurt & pain
    for your aloofness & detachment,
    for my disappointment & tears.

    Then in the silence of a single moment
    it came to me,

    I realized that not once had you ever promised me anything.
    Not once did you ever say it would be forever.
    Not once did you commit to always. Not once did you ask me for my heart or devotion.

    I gave my everything to you in hopes that in it you would find value and in return would give your everything to me.

    I had in fact built a future for “WE” constructed solely on the desires of “ME”.

    The truth is I had in fact been the selfish one. Holding you hostage to the unrevealed expectations in my mind.

    You simply enjoyed the present moments that we shared. While I was so fixated on the future could be’s I missed out on the beautiful nows that you gifted me with regularly.

    I never appreciated all that you did do, as I was so focused on what I felt you didn’t. Imaginary shortcomings created by me.

    So blinded by my overly romantic colored visions filled with grandiose gestures of undying love that I had allowed myself to believe must happen to paint the perfect picture of future forever love, I could not see clearly the simplistic beauty of a man giving me his heart via his presence in the present. Sharing his soul in the way that he could right now.”

    – I Awaken by TwinSpirit © Beautiful Ugly Publishing 2014

Random Musings: From My Heart With Love….

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TwinSpirit - The Glance“Me..TODAY…My Afro pulled into a high bun…Goddess (GodIs) Power in Full Effect…Feeling Great…Radiating Nothing But LOVE ENERGY!! No Worries..No Fears. We Must Always Lead By The Clarity of Our Example…I had a Beautiful Day Today and I expect to have more and more of the same.  As my Joy, Happiness, Success, & Peace are not Contingent upon approval, acceptance, understanding, acknowledgment, or reciprocity from sources outside of me, for none of those things can ever be a true gauge of the Essence of the Beautiful Divine Spirit that is ME!! Aware…I Embrace the True Essence of Me. Unhindered by unsolicited expectations of who others think I should be ~ Simply Put I AM FREE. Free to Love or Hate, Build Up or Break Down, Rise or Fall, Move Forward or Step Back, Focus on Problems or Become the Solution.

Never do I expect others to do for me what I have not done for self…Never can I expect others to give to my family and community (whatever those may look like as they come in various combinations)
those things that I have not given…that includes love, nurturing, understanding, embracing, respect, motivation, protection, acceptance, support, encouragement, kindness, patience, & forgiveness. Seeing beyond the titles given & roles previously played, focusing less on the shortcomings and more on the beauty & strength that resides within, Accepting Our Contribution to the Chaos and making it our mission to unlock the hidden gifts that have always dwelled there in. More Uplifting & less in fighting. More Coming Together & Less Pulling Apart. Dwelling Less on the What Was and More on the What Will BE. Becoming the Very Things that I Wish This World To Be…Starting with ME ❤

The Savior, with many names, that billions the world over have been waiting for is already here. It is US (individually & collectively)…We are the answer to all of the Questions. We are the Key that Unlocks the mysteries. We are the “ONE” that will save the World. GOD is Pure Love (Energy) and Love (Energy) is from which we all came.  We (The INFINITELY INCLUSIVE ALL) are IT, it is US. Unified as ONE we have the power to create a NEW WORLD. Filled with the essence of who we are and built on a foundation of…LOVE.

Release yourself from the prison of perceived limitations, self doubt, fear, & the Illusion of Separation that Holds Us hostage and redirect Your Focus & Attention to those things that draw Us closer and align Us with the True Essence and Power of Who we ARE…those things that strengthen us, unify us, release us from the lies that bind, heal us, grow us, push us forward & force us to stand together. Those experiences that excite Us & ignite Our passions. Those moments that stir our souls and Set our hearts on fire…those moments that catapult us from Sleep & Complacency, for it is during those times that we feel deeply & are alive, at One with Source (God), Connected to All that is and All that Will Be, positioned back in our true roles as Architects of our future & co-creators of our Reality….Free to BEcome Whatever it is We Desire  🙂

AWAKEN..You ARE a beautifully Divine and Powerful Creator..Remember who YOU are…Remember who WE are. Embrace the Magic, Embrace the Power, Embrace & Support One Another…Trust that LOVE (of Self & Others) is the Answer to ALL of the Questions”

From My Heart with LOVE – Twin Spirit

365 Days of Allowing – My Journey: Day 210 ~ I Forgive You

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“I admit the last few months have stretched me outside of myself in ways that I never imagined they would.
They have tested my strength, my character, my patience, my ability to love, understand, & forgive.
I have been pushed and pulled in so many directions and at times have been unable to breath but the beauty in these trials is that I never lost sight of the Soul of Me.

I had not realized just how deeply some souls are wounded and just how disconnected from “self” so many people are.
I never knew that so many people live such unauthentic lives and are so paralyzed by their fears,
and are so dishonest with themselves and those around them.
I learned that people are often drawn to your light as an escape from their darkness.
That many people do not resonate with you they are simply pretending to be the person they think you want them to be
to fit into your world so that they can partake in your light, your love, your joy, & your peace.
These people truly have no clue who they are or even what they want.
They are genuinely lost souls and if we are not careful they can drain us in our connections,
because they take so much more than they give.
My heart goes out to all of those lost souls trying to find their way back home.
Those souls so beaten down by life and pain that they have lost sight of their own power & beauty.
Those so weighed down by others expectations that they cannot even see who they are.
I forgive you for the pain you caused and I thank you for the opportunity to grow in my ability to love.
  ~ TwinSpirit ♥