All in all I have a pretty great life. My circle is small but the care, love, support, & friendship runs deep. I get to spend lots of my time doing things I genuinely enjoy with people I genuinely enjoy. My family is good and most days my heart is full. Are there challenges? Of course, but even those create the opportunity for me to dig deeper, to push forward, and discover my strength. It’s easy to get so caught up in the illusion of “the struggle” that we forget just how good our lives truly are. While they may not be filled with every little thing we want if we take an honest inventory I bet we will find that they are filled with every thing that we truly need. This moment of #Gratitude brought to you by the letter T (thankful). ~ always Twin Spirit ❤ www.iAmTwinSpirit.com
Are You COURAGEOUS Enough To Be Honest?
To be honest with yourself and others can be a difficult thing, because, in order to be honest, you must be courageous enough to take a look deep into your psyche and confront your weaknesses, fears, & insecurities—and expose them openly to the world—which is what we are most afraid of.
The majority of us have contrived a false image of ourselves. This image, however, is just a veil to cover our shadow self, not only from the eyes of others, but from our own as well. Thus the way we have been living so far is just an escape from self-understanding and genuine communication.
Unless we face, understand, and accept ourselves—unless we get in tune with the core of our feelings, emotions, thoughts, and intentions—how can we find harmony within ourselves and the world?
To look for truth, and to be honest, is terrifying. Forget big universal truths; I’m talking about little truths, personal truths. We are afraid to look inward, and to be honest with ourselves. And even if we are courageous enough to do that, then we are so concerned with the feelings of others, that we are afraid to share our truths with them. We punish ourselves with all sorts of guilt for even imagining causing someone emotional pain, when we really have no idea how they will feel if we were actually honest. We jump through crazy ridiculous hoops, all because we want to avoid the turmoil of potential emotional pain (theirs and ours). Being honest and being kind are not mutually exclusive. You can and should deliver your truth without blame or judgment, but definitely with kindness.
Sometimes we find ourselves in relationship dynamics with people who we perceive as emotionally fragile or explosive (it’s really the same thing). So we subjugate ourselves, and learn to maneuver around them. We do everything we can just to avoid those emotional mines. We never know when we’ll step on some trigger, so we hide the parts of ourselves we assume they will not accept or understand. We tread lightly. We speak less honestly. We express ourselves less openly. But unwittingly and inevitably repeating this process over and over, day in and day out, can cause resentments to grow. The less we share…the less of a connection is made.
Instead, I propose that we try honesty. (It’s really scary, I KNOW, but it’s so very worth it). Let’s respect one another. Let’s trust each other to handle the truth. Let’s be really clear within ourselves, and with all the other people in our lives. Let’s unchain ourselves from guilt and obligation. Let’s give ourselves permission to be open, honest, & free. Let’s forget about seeking approval, and instead live in our own integrity. It is near to impossible to get to the places you desire and to receive the things you want in life when you are not open and honest about what you truly need.
In order to really give love, in a way that is unconditional you have to love yourself first. To love yourself simply means to honor your own needs.
Really living your truth is about getting still enough, and being courageous enough, to admit to yourself what you want, and what you don’t want. It’s tuning in to the pit-of-your-stomach feelings, and figuring stuff out from there. It is about standing in your integrity, and following your internal guidance, even when it goes against social norms, the mores of your specific community, or the good intentioned opinions of those we care for.
It takes courage, real courage, to live/speak your truth. Courage isn’t about jumping out of airplanes or diving with sharks. It’s not about physical activities that get the adrenaline pumping. Real courage happens in very quiet and subtle moments. In those intimate, vulnerable exchanges when you’re afraid to speak the truth. When you’re afraid to honor your own feelings, when you’re afraid that if you say or do what your heart is asking of you, that you will be dismissed, shamed, ridiculed, or rejected. Or that the truth of your feelings will hurt the feelings of another.
The most amazing thing about radical honesty is that YES it’s not always easy and Yes your life will change but you aren’t going to be alone and rejected in the ways you may worry about. You will instead filter out the people who love and accept the real you, from those that only conditionally accept you (if you fit in to the image of who they want you to be). If you are brave enough to be the real you, you will find lots of love, support, friendship, opportunity, and companionship from other souls who are just like you.
I hope you find the courage to try it. Being the real you (whatever that means), out in the open, it is truly gifts you with a rewarding and delicious life experience!
From my heart to yours,
~ Twin Spirit ღ
“There is, perhaps, nothing more common to the Human Experience than conflict. It often stems from varied perspectives on a situation; differing belief systems and values resulting from a persons accumulated life experiences and conditioning; and differing objectives and interests.
There is one thing in this life that I know for sure. It is that I will never fully understand everyone’s perspectives on this journey but I do respect their right to have them. I may not live, love, emote, see, express, feel, grieve, respond, look, or think as you do but that doesn’t make me any more or less human than you.
The truth is that we were all born into our histories. We did not earn the accolades that are associated nor the shames. We have no true recollection of where the strife began nor do we fully know where to point the finger or know each individual who is to blame because we were not there. We can repeat the stories shaped and retold over the decades. Handed down generation to generation but we can never be for certain of the total and complete truth. All we know for sure is the current pain and suffering being caused by deeply ingrained hurts and fears birthed from belief systems with roots so deeply embedded that they have cut off our ability to see that in all of our differences, that this is what makes us beautiful as a human race.
This is the point at which we stand. This is where the “Real Power” lies….We can choose to spend the remainder of our existence on this planet blaming and destroying one another for all the ills that plague us and fighting ghost of the past or we can simply chose to do something different. Singularly or Collectively.
Effectively dealing with conflict requires the expression and management of peoples varying perspectives, interests, belief systems and values. It is important to meet people exactly where they are. Hear from them fully before trying to lead them anywhere. You can not effectively move toward resolution until each party experiences themselves to be heard on “their perspective,” “what they want,” and “why.”
Conflict arises when one or more person views the current system as NOT working. At least one party or group is so sufficiently dissatisfied with the status quo that they are willing to own the conflict and speak up with the hope of being able to influence the situation to arrive at an improved condition. Conflict may be viewed as a process we must put ourselves through to achieve a “New Conditions” and “Self Definition. Through conflict we have opportunities to be creatively self-defining. If nothing else, conflict allows us to do things differently in the future. Through the resolution of conflict, we can, if we choose, evolve and redefine ourselves, our relationships, our community, our society and our world. It is no accident that we most often find ourselves in conflict with those with whom we spend the most time. While uncomfortable and often painful, there is a great benefit, in terms of the quality of our lives, in being able to constructively resolve conflict with those around us.
The biggest challenge is always the “HOW”.
Now is the time to formulate and execute the HOW.
All of our how’s may be different but they are all needed. Together they are more Impactful.
Find your “HOW” and execute.
Don’t waste energy or time dissecting someone else’s HOW, that only creates more division.
FOCUS on Your “HOW” and Execute!!
I choose to execute my HOW’s with LOVE and Razor sharp precision….
Shared from the heart of a fellow Human Being Living this life on this Planet that Belongs to Us ALL” ~ Unapologetically Twin Spirit
“I notice many individuals often post and speak of excessive amounts of negativity and drama in their lives. They make eloquent declarations about removing certain people from their lives and they imply that the other party is the sole source of their frustration and/or unhappiness but what I rarely notice is people accepting responsibility for their parts in propagating and sometimes creating the negative situations that exist in their worlds.
Yes, we all encounter challenging people and situations in life but an ongoing or continuous cycle of dramatic, negative, or painful situations may indicate that the true source of the unwanted energy lies within. Accept responsibility for who you are right now. It’s not other people who make us the way we are, only our own thoughts and actions. While negative circumstances and social conditioning may have had a significant impact on you, dwelling & blaming others won’t help you improve your situation. Only through accepting personal responsibility can you move forward.
A responsibility avoidance mentality has a seductive allure. If you aren’t in control then it’s not your fault you don’t have the life you want. If you can convince yourself that someone else is to blame, your ego can remain safe. This creates an incentive to run from problems, act like they don’t exist, pretend that your choices and actions don’t matter and in turn allowing you to blame others for the state of your reality.
To change what’s not working in your life, you must believe you’re the one in control. Don’t blame, complain, make excuses, or criticize. Accept full responsibility for everything in your life as external problems often have internal solutions and finding those solutions can give you the courage needed to make the changes you desire. Taking responsibility for your life will empower you, foster success, and heighten self-esteem, all of which lead to increased happiness.
Think of yourself as a CREATOR, not an acceptor. An OWNER, not a victim. Accept total and full responsibility for who you are, who you will become, the choices you make, and the consequences that result from those choices.
Hold yourself accountable for your Life.
By accepting personal responsibility, we gain the power and freedom to create our own life, any way we want it!!”
These Thoughts Shared With Nothing But Love ,
~ Twin Spirit
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To all of My Lovers Past: Thank you for teaching me that the love I seek is one that is extraordinary. Thank you for showing me everything that I don’t want, so that when I finally come face-to-face with what I do want—I’ll have the courage to go after it. Thank you for showing me that I don’t want someone to be only half in love with me, or to merely appreciate me—but to leave them breathless. Thank you for leaving me with my loneliness so I could find my way back to myself. Thank you for placing me in uncomfortable situations which forced me to embrace, appreciate, explore, trust, understand, honor, value & Love Myself First ~ with LOVE Twin Spirit
“I release the fear of not knowing what the future may hold.
I expect all things to flow in the direction of my hearts desire.
I trust that what is for me shall be.
I release the need to be in control of all things outside of my will.
I free those I love to BE what they choose to be.
I no longer take personally what others may choose to do or not do.
I know that the journey is the gift not the destination.
I AM and that is all that I Need to BE” heart emoticon ~ Twin Spirit
“LOVE Me Boldly!
No timid intentions.
Let your actions speak loudly the desires of your heart.
Uncertainty breeds insecurity, so
if you want me, come and get me.
I desire a partner who compels my strength and
who is not afraid to love me
laugh with me
cry with me
grow with me
be open with me
take risk with me
who will stay when life gets messy.
A partner who will challenge me to ask questions, go deeper, & push harder
Who will hold me accountable for my own happiness and join me in creating the life of our Dreams….
One who will allow me to LOVE him boldly too.” – Twin Spirit