Moment of Transparency: There is truly only 1 man I have ever been in Love with. I have liked fondly, cared for, craved, and had love for others but only one has crawled into the deep recesses of my heart, soul, & mind and stayed there.
I still love him to this day and if I am honest am still “in-love” with him too. I will always love him, at his best and at his worst. I think it’s because I see him clearly for who and what he is….not just an ideal or a representation of what I wish him to be. He is amazing and awful at the same damn time…lol.
He has made me smile, laugh, & blush and he has also made me cry. He has made me feel beautiful and like I don’t matter. He is all that I wish a man to be and many of the things I can’t stand. He is free like the wind and often an island unto himself. He is giving and selfish, kind and cruel, open and secretive, honest and a liar.
He is a paradox but if I am honest I wouldn’t want him to be any other way.
It’s easy to believe that if only “they” would be just what you want them to be that life would be perfect and so simple but the truth is that loving him just the way he is has forced me to explore and understand Me. Pushed me outside of my comfort zone and made me accept that at the end of the day I, and I alone, hold the key to my happiness. (not another being, not a relationship status, & not who loves me in return.)
He is my Soulmate and I love him with all that is in me but he is not my man. I do not belong to him and he does not belong to me. Our connection is not always rainbows and butterflies but it is honest and it is real…and it is Beautiful ❤ ~ Twin Spirit