Truly loving the skin I am in.
The more I learn the more I see
the power in just being me.
Embracing every part of me
allows my spirit to be free. ~ TwinSpirit
When the world doesn’t understand the reason why you Sing…Just Sing Anyway
When they do not understand why you choose to Smile in the midst of the storms…Just Smile Anyway
When they question your motives and heart for doing what you feel is Right…Just Follow Your Heart Anyway
When they mock and criticize the platform or methods “You” choose in the Fight for Change…Just Keep Fighting Anyway
When they attempt to shame you because you dare to think for yourself and have a mind of your own…Just Keep Thinking Anyway
When the world attempts to Dictate Your Position, Silence your Voice, or Dim Your Light…Just KEEP Shining Anyway
There are many paths one can take to effect change…Each one unique yet Equally Powerful and Important.
Find Your Path, Your Voice, Your Cause, Your Purpose, Your Platform….and Just Do It YOUR Way ❤
A Moment of Transparency from TwinSpirit : Have you ever woken up, looked around at your current situation and asked yourself “How Did I End Up Back In This Same Place Again?”. There are times when you have to ask yourself what you really really want in this life.
Not what you are “okay” with or the minimum you are willing to accept or what you have accepted in the past, but what is it that you truly long for in this life and then you must honestly decide if you have been doing all that is necessary to bring those things into fruition. If not, You must ask yourself are you ready and willing to do what is required to achieve those things and once you have them are you willing to put in the work to maintain them.
I finally had to admit to myself a few years ago that some of the things that I deeply longed for I had yet to achieve or receive because over and over again I had often settled for less than what I truly wanted, needed, desired, & honestly deserved in many situations.
I held on when it would have been wiser to let go, I said yes when I should have said no. I allowed my understanding nature & kindness to be pushed and stretched beyond limits that were healthy for me. I let my desire to be a “nice” or “good” person overshadow my ability to be truly honest when my needs were not being met or I was hurting because I was afraid that asking for what I truly wanted would make me appear needy.
The Real & Hard TRUTH is that most times we are in the spaces and places we are in because we allow it. Somewhere deep inside we feel powerless and at the mercy of our circumstances.
The moment we realize that we are the key that unlocks the prison door we instantly become FREE.
Free to let go, move forward, make changes, say no & say Yes to what our souls truly desire.
You are the Captain of your own destiny. Plot your course and sail it in the direction of your purpose and dreams. Whatever they may be. Release those things that hold you back and hold you down. Silence self doubt and the whispers in your ears telling you what you can’t do or where you can’t go. They are lies.
You do not need anyone’s permission to live a better life. So stop waiting for the worlds approval and Go For It….and remember ONLY YOU have the power to decide what “IT” shall be.
I Believe In You…But The Magic Happens When YOU Believe In You Too!!
~ Twin Spirit
A MOMENT OF TRANSPARENCY: I fully admit that I have very different ideals when it comes to partnerships and relationships. Not “better or even worse” just vastly different.
I believe in family, I just also believe the family structure and dynamic can look many different ways. That all of them are okay and that they can all be successful as long as the parties involved are on the same page, maintain open honest communication, do things from a place of love , and share a common goal. The truth is there is no “One Size Fits All” when it comes to family, relationship, or love and trying to fit into a box that doesn’t fit ultimately causes unnecessary pain for the people involved.
There are many issues that pop up in long term relationships and many of them stem from the belief that our partners belong to us (love/commitment equals ownership), if someone loves us then they alone are solely & fully responsible for all of our happiness, wants, and needs, and if our partner loves us they will always know what we need and do what we want (and if they do not then they must not really care).
I am polyamorous , no this has nothing to do with my sexual orientation (for some reason people think this means you want to have sex with any and everybody…NOPE! FALSE! NEGATIVE). While I do enjoy sexual expression as much as, well maybe even more than the next person, the way I am wired, sexual desire is inspired by the emotional, intellectual, & spiritual connection I have with an individual. You can be physically alluring but if the other boxes are not ticked then more than likely I will pass on the pudding. I honestly prefer & desire deep connections built on friendship that can be explored fully and grown long term.
What it does mean is that I acknowledge my ability to care for, love, & maintain deep intimate relationships with more than one person at a time. Those connections may all look very different but each is beautifully fulfilling in it’s own way.
This also means that it is not in my nature to think that simply because I love someone and they love me that it means they will never ever care for or feel deeply for anyone else. Also it means that I know that any attraction or interest my love may have or find in another human being doesn’t negate what we have, what we are building, or what they feel for me. There is no sense of competition, because I am who I am and they are who they are. No one brings exactly what I bring to the table. It’s natural to enjoy, be inspired by, and attracted to new things. It’s called being Alive 🙂
The world is full of variety and diverse experiences. I would never attempt to control the opportunities for growth, expansion, friendship, expression, & love that another human being may get to experience on this life journey (this includes my family, children, friends, & lovers). Especially under the guise of Insecurity & Fear artfully disguised as Love.
Many people believe “well if they love me then I would be enough for them. They would have no desire to explore new things or meet new people. They would do as I say. They would feel as I feel”. That is limiting, destructive, & foolish thinking in my opinion.
It is only in “LOVE” that we attempt to imprison one anothers being. We cling tightly and attempt to hold on for dear life. We feel that someone may attempt to take this thing we hold so dear. It is our “Precious”. So we try to lock it away, hide it away, control it, manipulate it, we be damned if someone else is going to have the opportunity to enjoy this thing.
Trust me…I truly do understand where this intense obsession comes from & why…Simply put “Love” makes us feel good, connected, a part of something bigger, full, whole, complete, and we will do anything in our power to maintain and keep a hold of the thing that we feel is the reason for our intensely good feelings. That however is where the illusion begins…
Our partners, lovers, friends, family, etc. are not the source of the feelings they are merely reflections of the LOVE that resides inside of us. Yes, they add joy to our lives, keep us company on this journey, give us warm hugs and stir our emotions (both positive & negative). They help us learn more about who we are, what we want, & what we need….BUT they are NOT the fountain from which the love flows…WE ARE….They are merely a conduit to reflect the essence of the love we exude & give, back at us.
The truth is…(I know this will be hard to accept or believe)…we often don’t love the objects of our affection we simply love how they make “US” feel. This is why we loose it when we think something else might gain their attention and become their point of focus. This could be a new job, a new person, a new exercise regimen, going back to school, starting a new business, pursuing their dreams…The list is endless. We get so afraid when we think we might lose the source of our Good Feelings. When the reality is the Source of our Good Feelings can never be taken away because it lives inside of each and every one of us.
Call it what you like…the semantics matter not to me. Call it God, Love Energy, The Source, Magick, Your Essence…. this is the true place that fullness, connection, and completion resides. Not in the beings we choose to share the life journey with. Yes they add to it but they are not it. This is why I have no issue with those I love living their best life, yes even if that includes connecting deeply with other people . I support it and encourage it. The truth is when I love you I wish the best for you and realize that “the best” in any given moment may come from a source outside of me.
For me Love equals Trust & Freedom. I trust those I love to know what is best for their hearts and souls (even if it’s not something I understand ). I trust that our connection is solid enough for them to always be open and honest with me about what they feel, need, & desire. From that place of trust I grant them Freedom to live, love, do, & be themselves in every aspect (not just when it’s in line with my way of thinking, convenient for or beneficial for me). I have no desire to limit their experiences or lock them down. I will always be honest about how I feel but will also try my best to honor the place from which they are coming as well.
Now understand this does not mean that I never feel insecure or unsure, or that I don’t get angry or irritated. Believe me I do. But when those feelings arise I know that it has more to do with me than someone else. It means that there are issues surfacing that I need to address and attend to. So I sit with the feeling and explore them to understand where they come from and why. I know it is ultimately “MY” responsibility to slay my own dragons.
You may ask, “Well how in the hell can one build a family or grow a commitment with all of this Freedom going on?”….lol. The truth is with open honest communication and a shared end goal this is very possible. See long term commitments such as marriage are simply a combination or mixture of two or more elements. A union, alliance, fusion, blend, amalgamation, combination, merger…You get the Idea…LOL. It is a United Front: A Team that is working together towards a common end goal…Be it Raising Children, Strengthening Familial Bonds, Spiritual Growth, Building Community, Building Wealth, Personal Development, etc. The possible shared goals are numerous but the point is there is an agreement in place within the union and a sense of mutual obligation and commitment to whatever the team has deemed the End Goal to be. This agreement will look different for everyone’s relationships. If everyone involved is fully committed to the same end goal then allowing freedom to your lover will not hurt you or your relationship as their choices will always take into consideration the impact on the end goal of the union. Now if everyone is not then that is a whole different issue that needs to be addressed.
The most beautiful part is that there are many different types of relationship paradigms (structures). It is vitally important that we take some time to figure out what type looks, works, and feels best for us and that we are honest about this with those who we decide to connect & share our lives with. The truth is this also takes time and maybe even some trial and error until we discover the right fit. It is very important that as you make new discoveries that you share them especially if you happen to make these discoveries while already in a committed relationship and this will require possible shifts and adjustments to your standing agreements or the relationship itself. (Yea I know that sounds scary and Change scares us because we do not know what it might bring).
The reality is that we are all in “Multiple Relationships” already. We call them different things and the level and depth of each one varies but they are all important to us for their own unique reasons and we would totally resent anyone walking into our lives and telling us that we must terminate all of these connections and agree to never build any new ones if we are going to love them & have them in our life. So why do we do this on a daily basis to the people we say that we genuinely love and care for?
Understand I am not here to convince anyone of anything or change your minds. But I am here to ask the pointed questions and who knows maybe it will open up some much needed dialog on the subject of relating and relationships.
Shared from a space and place of love ~ Twin Spirit ❤
I understand transition. I understand change. I understand non-permanence. I grasp the concept of ebb & flow. I know that all connections are in a constant state of flux.
Even with all of this understanding I still have a hard time when someone that I care about fades away or disappears. It’s not the actual fading that gets me it is the silence associated with the fading or disappearing act that hurts me most. It results in feelings of being unappreciated, used, and disposable. If I have known the person beyond a few months to a few years it can be even more traumatic. When someone I like, trust, love, or care for & who I believe cares for me, disengages & disappears from contact without any explanation at all it feels like a very deep deception.
One of the most insidious aspects of silent fading & disappearing is that it doesn’t just cause you to question the validity of the relationship or connection you had, it causes you to question yourself.
Why don’t people communicate openly more? If your feelings, path, plans, desires, motivations, attraction, thoughts, or point of focus have changed and you wish to move in a different direction I think it is the kind & mature thing to do to communicate said changes. Even if that conversation will be a little uncomfortable. Mind you, you don’t have to go into full detail but a simple “I need some time to myself” or “I am going to focus on xyz right now” etc. would suffice.
Silent fading & Disappearing is the ultimate use of the silent treatment, a tactic that has often been viewed by mental health professionals as a form of emotional cruelty. It essentially renders you powerless and leaves you with no opportunity to ask questions or be provided with information that would help you emotionally process the experience. It silences you and prevents you from expressing your emotions and being heard, which is important for maintaining your self-esteem.
Regardless of the Faders or Disappearers intent, this behavior is a passive-aggressive interpersonal tactic that can leave psychological bruises and scars.
I have to soothe myself and remember that when someone employs these tactics, it says nothing about me or my worthiness but speaks volumes about the person doing it. It shows he/she doesn’t have the courage to deal with the discomfort of their emotions or yours, and they either don’t understand the impact of their behavior or worse don’t care. In any case they have sent you an extremely loud message that says: I don’t have what it takes to have a mature healthy relationship with you. I then choose to be a mature person, retain my dignity, and let him/her go peacefully.
But I would be a liar if I said it doesn’t sting me a little whenever it happens.
Ah well…thus is life. I shall continue to be Authentically & Unapologetically Me. I shall keep Living and Loving freely knowing that not everyone will value what I bring to table but I will never turn down my capacity to connect and feel deeply out of fear.
ODE TO THE QUEENDOM 2017!! I love all of my sisters in every shape, size, color, & walk of life. Everyone of YOU!! Your feminine energy is magical and powerful. We are all beautiful reflections of Yin energy manifested. I wish for you what I wish for myself: Wholeness that blooms from the inside, Freedom to live the Life your Spirit craves, Acceptance of the Gifts you possess, Acknowledgement of the Value you bring, Realization that the Magic we possess is a Real thing not just a catch phrase, Honoring the Heart of You.
The releasing of any limiting ways of thinking & being, Letting go of the notion that Love comes from anywhere but within Us and is in infinite supply, Embracing the Divine Power & Beauty of your Sexuality is life changing as you realize your sexual energy is key to your creative energy, Understanding that your ability to Emote & Feel Deeply is a Super Power.
Understanding that Your Worth is not tied to and never was determined by who does or does not love, want, support, or accept you nor is it determined by the thickness of your waist, the fullness of your breast, the wetness of your vagina, the texture of your hair, the shade of your skin, or the roundness of your behind. Knowing your physical beauty doesn’t even begin to compare to the majesty & depth of the inner beauty of your heart, mind, & soul. Standing firm in the Knowledge that You, every single part of you, belongs ONLY to You and you my dear are Amazing.
Releasing of jealousy & insecurity because they are illusions based in fear and a lack mindset. We are not in competition one with the other but billions of brilliant bright rays of light reflecting various incarnations of God energy expressing itself fully, Each uniquely unfolding and revealing vast power & unlimited possibilities.
I wish for you inner peace, courage to design the life of your dreams, the gift of self care, comfort in moments of uncertainty, the power to hold on & the innate wisdom and strength needed to know when it’s time to let go. I wish you boldness, clarity, prosperity, vision, laughter, passion, freedom, & joy that resonates from places deep within you. The path is yours to choose & the picture yours to paint. There is no “RIGHT” way only the way that works for YOU!!
You are a Woman, a Goddess, & a Warrior. An Alchemist, teacher, healer, master manifestor, creator extraordinaire, a weaver of dreams, and giver of life. A seer, a deep thinker, intuitive being, the glue that binds generation to generation and dimension to dimension. There is nothing weak about you and you need NO ONES permission to Shine & Glow …because you already DO. Illuminated by the divine eternal flame. The original Spark. All that we are is energy, and that energy has no boundaries. It is infinite, it is the invisible force that permeates all space, and it is the force that connects all things because it is all things. Everything in the universe is connected by this energy. You are this energy. Goddess…God Is You The power to change your life and the world resides in YOU 🙂
Words by & Shared with the deepest of Love & Respect direct from the heart of Me ~ Your Sistar Twin Spirit
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