“Recently I had the opportunity of a lifetime presented to me. The chance to let someone who hurt me very deeply “have it” in a way that I had been unable to give it to them in the past because I was to wounded. My chance had arrived to hurt them as badly as I had been hurt. I had all of the awful things I wanted to say & do all planned out and I was ready to pounce like a hungry lion in the jungle who hadn’t eaten for weeks.
Then a funny thing happened…when the moment arrived things did not play out as I planned. We argued a bit, we disagreed, we debated, and then we just talked. We talked more openly and honestly than we ever have before.
The amazing thing that happened during this interaction is that all of my pain and resentment began to melt away and I began to see something that I never had before…that in ways I had shut them out too.
Not being fully authentic & completely me and attempting to only present the parts of me that I thought they would accept and love was just as dishonest and hurtful to them as the things they did to me. We were both responsible for the current state of our relationship.
There were no victims, only 2 people both afraid that they were not “good enough” just as they are. Two people functioning with played out internal scripts & immature ways of connecting that no longer served them. Two people hiding behind forced smiles & cool unconcern. Never wanting to be the one who cared too much but deeply thirsty for real love and genuine appreciation. Dying to be accepted just as we are but too scared to trust that the other would accept us and also not extending that same acceptance to the other.
It is amazing the power that genuine understanding and forgiveness have to instantly transform. Letting go of the pain freed me & them. Giving us the opportunity to benefit from the greatest gift that it brings…PEACE!” ~ Twin Spirit
Feel free to read more of my Random Musings on my blog: http://www.Mybeautifuluglyworld.wordpress.com