Monthly Archives: July 2015

Random Musings: the discovery (broken pieces)

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broken-pieces

the discovery (broken pieces)

broken pieces strewn about… do you like puzzles he asked?

Yes, very much she replies..Unaware that the scattered tattered bits were shattered pieces of his heart, spirit, & dreams.

Good he says with a sly grin…as no woman has ever had the commitment or focus required to finish it, but I know “you” can. You are different, unique, unlike any other I have ever encountered before. Yes…you are the one. You are special. You are so much more.

She beamed with delight…felt proud and honored that he found her so appealing. So wonderful. so right.

Attracted to her wide eyed wonder at the beauty of life, her open heart, giving spirit. Her light and her glow…maybe she could be the glue that binds. The seeker to recover and replace the shards of his remains.

she thought it was merely a kind gesture, that he enjoyed her company and noticed her love for creating so she willingly played his game.

with steel eyed focus she attended to the matter of constructing her ultimate master piece. She took pride in the task. She was determined. She would not let him down like all the others past. She would prove herself worthy.

minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years she dedicatedly worked the puzzle. She twisted and turned the pieces…determined to make them fit.

Laser like focus her eyes locked on the task at hand. Her own dreams no longer attended, covered in weeds and vines. Her glow no longer glowing…she had lost her shine.

She grew tired and weary as days turned to nights and nights turned to days. Seasons past…she would not give up..she could do it. She could fix it and he would love her for it. She would complete this puzzle…fix this for this man…others couldn’t do it but somehow she can.

But sadly that day never came.

One day she noticed something she had not seen in a while…a reflection of her face, it no longer wore a smile. She barely recognized the woman she did see..she said to herself could that woman be me? A gentle breeze blew through a slightly opened door and she vaguely remembered she used to want so much more. A thought hit her heart…How could this be. The responsibility for his healing he had given to she.

She slowly arose from the floor, on her feet she now stands. She traded the love of her self for the love of a man.

~ by Twin Spirit ღ

Random Musings: The Walls We Build….

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cycle of hurt

“It’s oftentimes not that we think you are him (or any other that has hurt us previously). It is the pain or disappointment you are delivering currently that causes us to pull away and begin construction on our walls. We are often saving ourselves from You not hiding from him.

Inconsistency, dishonesty (to yourself & us), lack of follow through, infidelity, unreliability, selfishness, being emotionally cold or unavailable, lack of care and appreciation, no communication, being irresponsible, shutting us down and out often, always placing us last on your list of priorities, refusal to spend time or invest in the relationship, mind games, constant insecurity & jealously, low or no ambition, lack of affection, sexual unfulfillment, disrespect, unkindness… these types of things presented to us over and over again during the course of our interaction with you, show us that we should not & cannot depend on you or trust you with our hearts.

Some women are wounded and won’t let you in or punish you because of mistakes of lovers past, but many more of us, even after being hurt badly before still decide to trust & open our hearts to love again…

You must understand the powerful importance of a woman truly letting you in. Her opening the door to the most vulnerable parts of herself emotionally, mentally, physically & spiritually. It is an act of trust, a surrendering. It is a gift and one you should not awaken, accept, or receive if you cannot, do not, or have not the desire or capacity to protect her heart, nurture her spirit, appreciate her essence , or reciprocate the love. It is selfish and abusive to do otherwise.” ~ shared from my heart with loving intentions, Twin Spirit 💕