“I thought I was angry at you
for letting me down and leading me on.
I thought I had every right to be feeling
as I do.
I blamed you for all of the hurt & pain
for your aloofness & detachment,
for my disappointment & tears.
Then in the silence of a single moment
it came to me,
I realized that not once had you ever promised me anything.
Not once did you ever say it would be forever.
Not once did you commit to always. Not once did you ask me for my heart or devotion.
I gave my everything to you in hopes that in it you would find value and in return would give your everything to me.
I had in fact built a future for “WE” constructed solely on the desires of “ME”.
The truth is I had in fact been the selfish one. Holding you hostage to the unrevealed expectations in my mind.
You simply enjoyed the present moments that we shared. While I was so fixated on the future could be’s I missed out on the beautiful nows that you gifted me with regularly.
I never appreciated all that you did do, as I was so focused on what I felt you didn’t. Imaginary shortcomings created by me.
So blinded by my overly romantic colored visions filled with grandiose gestures of undying love that I had allowed myself to believe must happen to paint the perfect picture of future forever love, I could not see clearly the simplistic beauty of a man giving me his heart via his presence in the present. Sharing his soul in the way that he could right now.”
– I Awaken by TwinSpirit © Beautiful Ugly Publishing 2014