Let not my smiles deceive you…
I too struggle and long for relief.
Freedom from the need and desire to receive love & approval from outside of me.
The longing to be unaffected by the opinions of others especially those I love.
The release of painful illusions of self planted often unintentionally by those who claimed to have my “best interest” at heart, but who’s cloudy vision of themselves & personal fears only serve to block me from truly seeing me and being FREE.
The longing to Escape the need to connect & merge so deeply that I lose “ME” in the “WE”.
Relief from the self limiting false reality of success, love, & beauty viewed through the eyes of the many.
Escape from the lonely state that often accompanies the choice to live a genuinely authentic life of your own design.
Relief from the deeply embedded nagging belief that I am Not Enough just as I AM.
Finally being released from the LIE that my worth is tied to my ability to Please Others and that focusing on my genuine needs, wants, & desires makes me selfish.
I have openly stood naked before the world, bared and shared my heart and soul, given my friendship, love, time & support often until there was not much left to give.
I have been a willing participant in life experiences that tore my heart to shreds and left me limp & lifeless because of all of the energy they sucked from me, stood by folks through utter foolishness because I believed that good people support those they care about and love..period.
I understand, I listen, I support, I care, I give, I share, and I feel more deeply than others may even know.
I trust over and over again.
I breakdown and cry in the quiet darkness alone so as not to burden others because I know they have worries of their own.
TODAY I release MYSELF from the many self imposed prisons that I have created & allowed to be created for me.
TODAY I wipe away the tears and see ME as I DESIRE to see ME.
TODAY I let go of the need to rescue and save the World….
TODAY I finally choose ME…Completely and unapologetically 🙂 –
My Beautiful Ugly World 