Monthly Archives: August 2012

365 Days of Allowing – My Journey: Day 146 ~ Love Does NOT Hurt

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“I have been in deep thought about a few things for a few days and I find it rather interesting that when one finds their life crumbling around them their first instinct is always to lash out and blame “someone else” for their circumstances. We love to cry “Victim” in life. I admit others can draw us into various messed up situations with half truths & omissions, but the truth is there must be some part of us, even if its a small part, that chose to be a willing participant in the experience.

Oftentimes we are the instigators of our most painful experiences. We have the tendency to drag around baggage, scars, behaviors, & expectations from our past like badges of honor and tickets of entitlement. Expecting those who come into our lives & who care about us to tolerate any mistreatment and dysfunctional behavior we dish out because we feel that we have earned the right to behave any way we choose due to our past suffering. The truth is You have NO Right to hurt others and to drag your baggage into their life simply because You have been hurt.

Even those that love you can tire under the pressure of constant bitterness, anger, impatience, aggressiveness, nagging, pushing, the constant need to always be right, coldness, punishing silences, confrontations, bullying, lack of affection, threats, distrust, temper tantrums, suppression, put downs, intolerance, manipulation, argumentativeness, interrogations, fear, and feeling sorry for yourself. Understand that YOU are not the only one that has suffered or felt pain and disappointment in life and NO ONE, not even those we love, are obligated to put up with our dramatics. Don’t take someones love & understanding for granted or for weakness. It’s a gift and should be appreciated at all times.

You may of course choose to continue to behave in any manner that you see fit but you must understand that others also get to choose if they want to continue to allow you and your issues to be a part of their life. Do not be shocked, hurt, or surprised if you often find yourself alone. If you have found yourself in this place more often than not you must accept that YOU are in fact the only common denominator. We must accept responsibility for our own lives, our own behavior, & our own happiness. We must at some point deal with our shit and work through it so that it doesn’t consume our lives, stunt our growth, contaminate our connections, & block our blessings.

It’s Simple…If you want love you must be loving. If you want respect you must be respectful. If you want to be understood you must first seek to understand. If you want a friend you must be a friend. If you want support you must give support. Find the courage to give yourself permission to heal your wounds…from the inside out. Then and only then can you even begin to give the level of love that you seek to get in return….The Truth…and YES sometimes the truth hurts, but it can also heal if allowed” ~ With Love, TwinSpirit ♥