THOUGHT OF THE DAY: “If someone loves you, it should feel like they love you. Real love is the stunning portrait of freedom in it’s most wonderful essence. Love is not taking a hostage or being taken hostage. Love is not being a doormat. Love does not entail sacrificing your self on the altar of martyrdom. If we do not know how to Love our self, how to show respect and honor for our self – then we have no self to sacrifice. We are then sacrificing in order to try to prove to ourselves that we are lovable and worthy – and that is not giving from the heart, that is codependently manipulative, controlling, and dishonest.
Unconditional Love is not being a self-sacrificing doormat – Unconditional Love begins with Loving self enough to protect our self, even at times from the people we Love if that is necessary. Until we start Loving, honoring, and respecting our self, we are not Truly giving – we are attempting to take self worth from others by being compliant in our behavior towards them. Love is not about success, achievement, and recognition. If I do not Love my self – believe at the core of my being that I am worthy and Lovable – then any success, achievement, or recognition I get will only serve to distract me temporarily from the hole that I feel within, from the feeling of being defective that I have internalized.
In a Codependent society we are taught, in the name of “love,” to try to control those we love, by manipulating and shaming them, to try to get them to do what we perceive to be the “right” things – in order to protect our own ego-strength. Our emotional experience of love is of something controlling: “I love you if you do what I want you to do.”
A large component of Love is Freedom. To allow others to be what they are, and do what they choose to do. To allow them to grow, blossom, & bloom in any direction they desire. To manifest the reality they dream…And knowing that we can say yes and no honestly without the fear of losing love..even to the ones closest to us, the ones we esteem above all others. This freedom frees others of our expectations and us of their expectations. Releasing them from our ideas of who, what, and how. Allowing them the freedom to just “Be”. What could be more Loving than that?
Real love is the stunning portrait of freedom in it’s most wonderful essence. It is a beauty that rightfully ignores perceived flaws, placing the focus instead on our internal lights where it belongs.” ~ Hope you enjoyed ♥ TwinSpirit