I spend lots of time dealing with ME. Digging, exploring, uncovering, releasing, renewing, refreshing, soothing, encouraging, reprimanding, questioning and loving.
Honestly, sometimes I truly do not understand why I feel the way I feel or react the way I do to things.
It’s truly annoying…lol.
Well it’s 2am and a thought that has been tugging at my heart the last few weeks has finally come to the surface and I am ready to now address it with words.
“WORDS”…I LOVE THEM!!
I have always been a word girl. I love the sound certain words make as they roll off my lips, I love to know the origin and definition of words. I am wordy in my communication and rather skilled at clearly communicating my deepest innermost thoughts and feelings via lots & lots of words.
I am a word artist. I paint with words. I heal with words. I uplift with words. I hurt with words. I escape with words. I travel with words. I create & manifest with words.
Well, as in love as I am with the vibration that emanates from “words”, I have come to realize that if one’s actions do not align with the words thought & spoken it often leaves me only halfway satisfied or even rather disappointed with the experience.
To get a little personal…I have been showered with some of the most beautiful words, thoughts, & expressions of interest and love over the last few weeks. Each word shower just bathes me in a warm and wonderful mist of appreciation. It feels great and I feel beautiful and special. It always makes me long for more as its our nature to move towards those things, people, & experiences that bring us happiness, joy , and all around warm positive vibrations.
As beautiful and heart warming as the words have been. I have been trying really hard not to get swept up in the moment. Not because I do not desire to submerge myself deeply into the experience, but more so because the actions of the individual and their words are not quite lining up at the moment. I just sense that a bit more observation is required.
I have questioned myself rather intensely on the matter, as I am wanting to ensure that my pulling back is not fear related. I must admit there is a little bit of fear involved.
The feelings that the words conjure just draw me in so deeply. I feel all giddy, happy , & free..like a school girl. It feels soooo good and keeps me smiling. Then my voice of reason & past experiences keeps cautioning me to pull back, tread lightly, and be careful.
The internal battle has been brewing…(A) To just let go and Enjoy the Moment or (B) To Pull back and try to Control the moment to ensure that Pain does not linger around the Corner. My nature leans towards option (A) but believe me my voice of reason ain’t going down without a fight. So all weekend I have been slowly pulling myself back from the ledge, it’s not nearly as much fun or as pleasurable as allowing myself to get lost in the sweet possibilities.
The “ACTIONS” of the individual with the beautiful heart & words to match, however, are causing me to take pause. *sigh*
So for the moment I have pulled the door to my heart closed from the slightly cracked position that it had opened to over the last few weeks. But I have flung open the window so that I may still hear the sweet song & beautiful words while I observe from my safe place inside.
Shared with Love & a Deeper Understanding,